Things That Each Writer Wants For Christmas And Won't Get - Op-Ed Piece

Christmas is the time of the year when the roads are too icy, people’s interest in reindeers skyrocket, and sweaters are worn ironically.

A fat guy gives presents to nice kids (while never really giving his definition of one), figures of Jesus’ birth are put up in windows, and trees are filled with lights and moved indoors.


It’s a weird time of the year.

But, it’s also a time of giving.


Give gifts to the ones you love.

Give your mom that new recipe book she wanted.

Give your sister that thriller book she wanted.

Give your brother that mystery book he wanted.

(Actually, maybe you should think about gifts that are not books this year)


Give prayers to those in need.

Say the old Irish blessing for the co-worker who, let’s face it, is a complete dick, but got into a really bad car accident.

You don’t like the guy, but that doesn’t have to make you the bad guy.

Say the Angel Of God prayer and ask your guardian angel to help your neighbor that you never talk to, but that you learned just got laid off from work.

You don’t like the girl, but you can still be optimistic about her being.

Or you can wing a prayer with your own words and ask God to help whoever it is you feel needs the help.

Cause help is help, no matter how big or small.

(Did Dr. Seuss write that? It sounds like him)

Heck, say a prayer for Dr. Seuss if you are really up to it.

This is the time of year when we can all give hope for a better tomorrow.

The year was rough and left you with too many bruises you won’t recover from.

The year was long and you didn’t get enough rest.

The year was bad and you lost more than you won.

But it is time to look unto tomorrow and next year because you and I and everyone can make it a better one, starting now.


Ah yes, what a time of the year it is.


It is also a time of receiving, also known as the better end of giving.

Sure giving is great, but receiving something after you give is even better.


Which brings us to what people like me want for Christmas.

Writers, or as some of you know them….

Liars, bullshitters, and idiots.

I personally view myself as an idiotic liar who is full of shit.

Regardless of what you call them, writers have the same list for Christmas every year.


· A 7 figure book deal for that book idea I thought of while in the shower.

· Coffee.

· An original copy of The First Folio.

· A life-size statue of Edgar Allan Poe or Mark Twain or Emily Dickinson.

· More coffee.

· A new office.

· A small cabin in the woods for me to go to when I am tired of being in my new office.

· New rooms for my library.

· A new edition of The Odyssey.

· A book for all my great quotes.

· Instant replies from interested prospective agents.

· An advance that will actually cover the cost of finishing my book.

· Someone to read my blog.


That is not that crazy of a list.

So I showed it to one of my friends.


A 7 figure book deal for that book idea I thought of while in the shower.

In my defense, it was a really long shower.

An original copy of The First Folio

“I don’t know what that is,” he said.

“Shakespeare.”

“Oh…. sure.”


A life-size statue of Edgar Allan Poe or Mark Twain or Emily Dickinson

“They make those?” he asked.


He scanned through the next few almost as if to say there is no way my library is expanding.


A new edition of The Odyssey

“Didn’t you read that in school?”

“I only have 10 editions of that book. One more won’t hurt. The commentary will change.”


A book for all my great quotes

“You mean from that book you didn’t write?”

“No… I mean… yes... I mean… no… I mean…”

I hate when people question my greatness.


Tomatoes, carrots, lettuce.

“Is that a new book out?”

I took the list from him.

“Oh no. Sorry. Those are on my new diet list.

Been trying to eat more vegetables.”

I gave him back the list and he put it on the table as if to say he had about enough of my writing dreams.


“How about I give you a Barnes And Noble gift card?”


“That works.

Wait…

So you’re not going to read my blog?”


“I’ll get you the gift card.”

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.

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