I’m gonna cheat for this question of who is the best character ever.
Go ahead and call me the New England Patriots for this one.
I’m about to film the other team’s practice and deflate the ball, all while hitting the game-winning field goal.
The best character ever is….
Can I get a drumroll… No drum roll? That’s okay because I wasn’t really waiting for one anyway…
God is the greatest character ever.
Is God really a character?
He is the major force in a little known indie book called the Bible.
No God. No Bible.
That book is the single most influential book ever written so God has to get some credit as a character there.
If we are going to call Gilgamesh a character, and pretend that being two-thirds god and one-third man makes sense, then we can call God a character.
God is such a good character, he defines himself.
Even atheists know what I’m saying when I bring up God.
They don’t argue whether they know of him.
It’s whether he exists.
Because knowing God is so common.
Can you imagine going up to someone and asking them who God is?
They’d look at you like you were nuts.
It actually makes more sense to know of God, than to have never heard of him at all.
Talk about influence.
God is every writer’s dream character.
He needs no description, no explanation.
No wonder the Bible is so long.
It is extremely easy to write about God.
The readers get what I am saying when I say, “God.”
I am not stuck having to describe every damn setting or event to you.
His very existence changes our world.
And when a guy walked around claiming to be him, madness ensued, and our calendars changed forever.
By just being, he addresses philosophical questions other characters never dare to ask.
How did life begin?
Where did we come from?
Is there more to this life?
And most importantly, what do I say when I am surprised by something?
In fact, God is so great, we have to talk about him in metaphor.
Did you get that?
Metaphors. Those things that pretentious poets, also known as bards, use to describe stuff like love or heartbreak.
So they relate your bruise to a melted clock or your victory to a filled cabinet.
Does it make sense?
Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not a bard. I don’t know.
We use metaphors to talk about God, all the time.
God isn’t really your father, but how else are we supposed to understand someone that great and powerful who basically started life?
If you can answer this question then you might as well go around calling yourself St. Thomas of Aquinas.
That is some deep level thinking this blog cannot provide for you.
God is such a great character, we forget he is a character.
He is a name we put over on the other table when we talk about characters.
God doesn’t count as a character!
He is God!
That is different!
How many characters are prayed to on a daily basis?
How many have buildings built in their honor?
How many have wars fought in their name?
Is God really a literary character?
I don’t know.
But I am not dumb enough to say no here, because if he is real, I don’t want him asking questions about this article when I die.
Imagine this rant being my reason for eternal damnation.
That is not a risk I am willing to take.
Although I may have to explain the cheating.
About The Blogger
Greg Luti is an editor, and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.
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