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Did You Know That Edgar Allan Poe Liked Eggnog? - Op-Ed Piece


 
Eggnog
























Did You Know That Edgar Allan Poe Liked Eggnog? - Op-Ed Piece


I know right?


That Edgar Allan Poe.


The one whose works are so strange, you can’t help but think he was a little off when he wrote.

Or a little drunk.

He didn’t write just a few stories on the topic of weird.

He wrote a whole book on it.


The guy who made a raven creepy.

Which, fun fact, the NFL team is named after that poem.

I’m sure that is what he thought would be part of the legacy of his masterpiece.

“Ah…

This…

Will be a Super Bowl contender one day.

They may even cover the spread.”


Poe is the guy who all the emo kids who wear too much black, listen to too much MCR, and always look sad are inspired by.

Who would they go to for that lifestyle if Poe didn’t express it all first by writing about a person being buried alive?


Edgar Allan Poe liked eggnog.

That is an incorrect sentence.

I apologize.

I will contact the editor of the blog to remove it immediately.


“Dear Editor,

Please change the sentence Edgar Allan Poe liked eggnog, because it paints Poe in a positive light of enjoying a tasty beverage.”


I got a response.

It took them a week.


“Dear Reader,

After careful evaluation and a thorough look at your problem, we have come to recognize that you are in fact the editor of the blog so the responsibility of removing the sentence is on you. Please make sure to rate us.”


One star and I’m unsubscribing.


I refuse to believe that a man who looked so depressed all the time liked a drink that makes so many so happy.

Although I admit I like the idea of him writing “The Raven” while drunk.


“I need a word.

Never bore?

Never sore?

Never lore?

Nevermore!

Yes! That is the word.

Nevermore…

Wait… but who says the word nevermore?

Eh whatever. I’ll repeat it a few times, and no one will say a thing.”


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary


What are you so weak from, Eddy?

All that eggnog gone to your head Ol’Poe?

Is the midnight dreary because you are all out of your favorite drink?


I’d like to think that two days later (one after the hangover), he sat at that same desk to edit his work and had two thoughts.

1. Holy crap. This is pretty good.

2. How drunk was I that I had a talking raven driving a person insane as the main plotline?

So this Christmas, as you pass around gifts to the drunks, bloggers, and emos you know remember this fact:


Edgar Allan Poe wrote “The Raven” when he was drunk.

Is it true?

Probably not.


But it is a fun thing to bring up on Christmas.

And it makes even more sense when you’re drunk.

 
 

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About The Blogger

Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.

 

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