We got another Christmas story for you to read. We are trying to get all of our stories out before the holiday comes.
For January, the theme will probably something related to the new year.
Here is the page for the Christmas stories, in case you want to read through the others that we wrote.
Merry Christmas, and enjoy reading.
Two elves sat in the breakroom of the North Pole, taking a few minutes off from doing their tasks. Unlike most other elves at the North Pole, these two are assigned to various unique jobs that their supervisor gives them. They run deliveries to different parts of the world, get the reindeer’s food, or help make toys (if the crew is low). They are there to be middlemen for Santa Claus. They are not stuck to making only toys, but they are not managers of any sort of the North Pole either. They are not a part of a staff, but they don’t have one either. You would only think they work at the North Pole because of your own location there, but their attire of faded jeans and heavy overcoats suggest that they are not like the other elves, who are all donned in either a red or green workplace outfit. The two elves are apart of a special unit that doesn’t follow any proper routine. There have been some Christmas nights where they were not at the North Pole to celebrate the holiday, which is, of course, a tradition at the Pole. In one particular instance, they were sent out to find a way to get it so Rudolph’s nose would work after his first trip. Nobody expected the red nose to continue to light after Rudolph’s heroic trip, so these two were tasked with finding out if that was possible. They had no clear instructions from their supervisor, for she knew that Christmas was a year away, only to get it done. Santa, of course, wanted it done before they got back, which meant no celebration for the two unfortunate elves. Sometimes they even run PR related issues, such as reaching out to the world, if there is no one else to do it. They don’t take much pride in this, and for the few times they have done it, they have made sure they are not there to be around when the big man gets back. PR for the world means hell for the elves.
The one elf, Fren, was reading the newspaper about how his favorite football team from England did in the match last night. They lost 2-0, and they got entirely outplayed, and the manager will probably be fired before the new year. The other slightly younger-looking elf, Van, sat with his feet up on the table chatting away to the wall, “All I am saying is that he is vague with naughty and nice. That’s all. I get it. The whole world is a lot, but some guidelines would be nice, is all.”
“Yeah.” Fren was half-listening, more interested in his team than office politics. He has been doing this job as long as he was an elf. He helped with Rudolph’s nose. He gave Frosty a hand when he melted. He even managed to get Santa a good look with the public at the turn of the past century, although he will not take credit for that one, as he was merely a delivery boy for a plan that someone in the PR department already made. He has seen it all. He even complained to Santa after his first few years on the job, how he shouldn’t be responsible for making toys, running particular errands, and helping with the PR, but the Jolly Man turned him down and threatened him with one line he remembers till this very day. “It’s that, or you can be making toys all year round.” Since then, Fren accepts the free time he has and takes whatever obscure job he is given, for it can be worse, he reasons, he could be stuck with a hammer in the workshop.
Van has not been on the job nearly as much, but he has become the senior’s trusted ally. He is a bit brash, and sometimes a little odd with his theories he presents his co-worker, for none of the other elves will listen to them, like how he thinks that Santa should confront God on his sainthood, or that there should be a third type of person on the list, besides naughty or nice. Still, he has come to earn the respect of his elder, for, after all the noise he makes, he is there for his friend. He was there to help him find a way to get Rudolph’s nose to work as they went out in their own tiny sleigh with nothing more than poor intel and little time. He lugged Frosty all the way back to the North Pole when all they had was a bucket and no information on Frosty’s whereabouts. He didn’t build some of the first sleighs like Fren did, but he has always been there for his pal, so Fren accepts his idiosyncrasies and ramblings.
Their supervisor, Pamela, walked into the room, clearly indicating that she needed them for something. She has been in the North Pole since it all began, and she can tell you about the first Christmas, the original Saint Nick, and many other stories. Her stoic yet rational nature has made her relationship with Fren through the years easy for both of them to get work done.
There is a rumor that the two were even a thing back in their youth, but both will vehemently deny such claims.
You wouldn’t know by looking at her, but she is older than Van.
“Oh hey. What’s up?” Fren asked his former lover.
“Bossman wants this sent out immediately.”
“What is it?” He asked.
The younger elf interrupted, “Hey Pam, how come you never just ask how we are doing? You never just want to shoot the breeze.”
She ignored his stupid remark and spoke to the more composed of the two. “He says it is a memo.”
“Thanks.” Fren took the piece of paper.
“This is a physical copy. I sent one to your computer so that you can send it to every news outlet we know exists.”
“Great. Short on people for this?”
“Yeah. Everyone called out sick, and I am making toys today.”
“Boy, when was the last time you did that?”
“I can’t even tell you.”
She actually could tell you if she wanted to. Fren could tell you too. That was many years ago when both of them were much younger. At the time, only Fren was working in his position, and Pamela was a toymaker showing promise as a potential manager. They were assigned to make benches on a Christmas Eve when the staff was low. When they finished their last bench, their youthful spirit got the best of them. One thing led to another, and let’s say that they were each other’s gift for that year. Unfortunately, the night ended, and when they were found out, Santa decided never to have the two work together again. Pamela was to be supervisor over a large group of elves, keeping her busy, and Fren would never be assigned to toymaker ever again. Some whisper that Santa purposely sends out Fren on a bizarre trip each Christmas Eve so that he can’t go to the Christmas party and so that he can’t be with Pamela. According to either of them, though, this never happened. Fren is sent out on Christmas Eve on a meaningless journey that he could do on a different day because Santa is an ungrateful son of a bitch, not because he is trying to punish Fren, but that is not the case. The Christmas Spirit is welcomed at the North Pole, but not that kind of love.
Van called out,
“Is this one of those important things that isn’t that important?
Like he will rush us to do it only for it not to have to be rushed? Cause I am still not over what he did to us with Rudolph. That wasn’t right.”
“Send this out to everyone immediately. And then you two have to go to Australia.”
“What the hell is in Australia?” Her former lover asked.
“Kangaroos, obviously.” Van snidely remarked. “The Saint is tired of his reindeer.”
“He wants to create some beach land here at the North Pole and needs to know how much they can give us.”
“You’re kidding,” Fren responded.
She leaned in closer to him. “Look get this memo out immediately. This needs to get done now. As for this.” She lifted up the second paper. “Get it done, but you know…”
“Yeah. I know.”
“It’s already Christmas Eve. We aren’t building that beach part anytime soon.”
“I got you.”
“Thanks. Once you two send the first thing out, there is a small sleigh for you, with a reindeer ready to go to Australia. And since I won’t see you, Merry Christmas.” She took two steps out of the room and then turned back, directing her focus at Van. “Oh, and I never talk to you because all you do is complain about this place.
I avoid confrontations with negative people in my life. That is not good for my chakra.”
Fren told his old lover to have a merry Christmas and then prepared for another Christmas where he and Van would have to be stuck on a sleigh in the middle of the night, completing something that neither wants to do. Van will go on and on about something that will slightly annoy and slightly amuse him. He got up from his chair and read over the first paper he was given about alerting the world of a report. Van got up from his relaxed position. “I don’t complain that much, do I?”
“More than the snow falls around here.”
“Hmmm…. So what does it say?”
A newsman in a studio reported the following to any viewer of the news show;
We have just gotten a report from the North Pole with a memo that reads as follows.
Dear Fellow Brothers and Sisters,
I have proudly delivered presents to your houses throughout my many years on this Earth, and I will continue to do so, for I believe that this tradition is a grand celebration of family and love of the human spirit. I bring the presents, but you all supporting me makes this time of the year really special.
After some backlash from certain parts of the world over my diet, I have decided to no longer be accepting cookies and milk as gifts from you as I leave you presents.
As a figure in our society, it is my responsibility to show kids that milk and cookies are not the best choice of foods for them to try.
As of now, I will no longer eat any milk or cookies left out, but only fruit and vegetables that are left for me.
Thank you for your dedication to the Christmas holiday and festivities.
Have a merry Christmas.
I hope you have all been good boys and girls this year because remember I always check the list twice.
Kris Kringle aka Santa Claus
The newsman then said, “We now go to Mary, who is in a small town in Virginia, and asking people about this surprise from Santa Claus.”
A newswoman stood outside of Town Hall and said the following;
“Hi Carl. And after hearing of Santa’s rejection of milk and cookies, residents in this small town are to wonder; Is this going to be a holly jolly Christmas after all? Some around here question the lateness of the report, upset that we are hearing this on Christmas Eve. Others are mad with Santa’s intentions, saying he is only doing this because of the outcry early in the year from those that felt the Jolly Man was encouraging children to eat unhealthy foods. Still, some believe it is all a hoax. One thing is certain, the man in red won’t be eating milk and cookies this Christmas Eve.”
The newsman back in the studio finished the report.
“Well folks, it is only a matter of time before we see how this plays out.”
The studio view then cuts to the table where he is sitting with his female co-host. He comments to her about what he read off the prompter. “Boy, can you imagine Santa not eating cookies?”
“I don’t know. I heard crazy things before, like how Santa could be a cowboy, but for him not to eat milk and cookies may cause problems.”
“Both are complete nonsense.”
“Imagine all those people who already bought them for the big fella.”
In a suburban house, a husband reacted to the news on Santa he just watched.
“No Christmas this year. That’s it!”
“What! No!” His wife argued.
“Who does Santa think he is, not wanting to eat milk and cookies! That fat bastard is going to get milk and cookies, and he is going to like them. I don’t care if he is lactose intolerant.”
The daughter of the household walked in on the couple, “I just got a text from Molly, who said that Jenny heard from Brianne, that people have started a petition online because of this thing with Santa and cookies. They want to cancel Christmas because they don’t like that Santa is not going to eat their cookies that they left. Can you believe that?”
“We shouldn’t even allow the fat guy in for pulling such a stunt.”
“Don’t you want Santa to be healthy? He is setting a good example for the kids by wanting to eat good food.”
“I want Santa to be Santa! Not some vegetable eating skinny sucker who caters to every complaint that comes his way. He has been eating cookies and milk for all these years, so he should continue it; Regardless of what others think.”
“So you are going to cancel Christmas?” The wife asked.
The daughter then said, “Yeah, that petition already has a ton of people who signed it. No one wants Santa to be healthy.”
“See. I’m not alone here.” The husband claimed confidently.
This reaction was the same in many households worldwide, who already had their plates of cookies and glasses of milk ready for Saint Nick. Soon doors were locked, chimneys closed, and gates put down by the people of the world. If Santa was not going to give them any time on his update, then he won’t get any time for their update either. Some even made signs and put them on their doors, “NO COOKIES! NO MILK! NO SANTA!”
Back in the office, Fren and Van sat at a computer finishing up the task they took upon. They have found all the contacts worldwide to all the major news outlets that would report on this story. Van made the smart choice of not finding any news outlets that had small audiences and to make sure that enough of the audience got the memo so that they reached all of the world. If they had gone through every news outlet in the world, they would have never gotten the task done.
Before the memo is sent for the world, the younger elf asked, “Hey do you think it will cause any problem sending this out?”
“Nah, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Fren got up from his computer chair. “But let’s get out of here, in case it does.”
“Australia.” The younger leaped up from his chair and headed for the sleigh. As he left the room, Fren commented aloud, “Although, one of these years, I would like to go to the Christmas party.”
The two elves got out of there before the memo hit the news stations.
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