The readers of the blog know that recently we have experimented with writing about themes here, different themes that we focus on, rather than writing whatever pops into our head as we eat cereal in the morning.
We basically became like Frankenstein and the monster.
We tied ourselves down to the table, electrocuted ourselves, and proclaimed “Eureka!” a few times.
Which really isn’t that special because we yell “Eureka” for even the mundane tasks.
I found a can of soup in the car just earlier, and I called out as if I discovered how to bring the dead to life.
What’s more important?
Finding some good soup or creating a zombie.
If you say zombie, then I will click on the unsubscribe button for you because that is wrong.
The focused experiment went well.
Only half the town has pitchforks.
And now, we walk about this earth searching for meaning, and everyone calls us by the wrong name.
I call that a success.
Our experiment worked as well as any scheduling can work for writers who are always focused on three things at once.
In that, it didn’t work at all.
Writers aren’t good with deadlines.
We wrote stuff about certain stuff, and then we put that stuff on the blog.
It is all very technical, and I am sure that you wouldn’t understand.
Last month sucked. (which we are probably going to say that about the year eventually.)
I mean, yes, there was Halloween pieces, which I love to write about as much as anyone,
We all replaced our caffeine with candy.
But then there was the election.
If you are lucky, you avoided it at all costs and somehow retained your sense of sanity.
Wait a second; I think the lights in my room went out, and a black cat is sitting outside my window.
That is what happens when anyone brings up the … election.
STOP STARING AT ME, CAT!
As I was saying, this blog will now continue with the experiment we started.
Now we have November because you know, that is how time works.
November comes after October.
If you are reading this, and that is not the case, send for help immediately.
I am not the guy who will do anything for your strange situation, but maybe someone working with Elon Musk will get on it.
Most of the months have 30 or 31 days, and then there is February, which I don’t know what is going on there.
I thought it was fitting to make the theme of November about Thanksgiving.
Because I like Thanksgiving.
That is my reasoning, your honor.
I have no evidence.
I have no witnesses.
Only my provocations toward my opinion that I made long before stepping into this courtroom, and those are all I feel I need.
For what is evidence but a burden?
What are witnesses but liars?
And why does a man need more than a …
STOP STARING AT ME, CAT!
I HAVEN’T EVEN MENTIONED THE ELECTION IN ALL OF FIVE MINUTES!
I don’t get why Thanksgiving is forgotten about in our society.
Why do we hate it so much?
We love Christmas.
We love Halloween.
And then there is Thanksgiving.
The middle child that is neither as talented nor as successful as the older brother or younger sister.
What because I don’t make it to the big leagues doesn’t mean I am not good?
Just because I didn’t start a million-dollar company doesn’t mean I am not smart.
I am very smart and very successful.
Only my brother and sister are better than me.
Sorry Thanksgiving, for being that disappointing child of the family that can never be as good as the other two.
You got a tough draw.
You got no good songs.
You got no candy.
You got no gifts.
You don’t got much.
The animal of your day is a turkey. (And that isn’t even the best animal to kill if you wanted to eat something
Pigs, chickens, and cows are confused as to why we all love turkey for one day a year)
Thanksgiving, you are really making the most of a losing hand, and you should be proud of yourself.
Perhaps you should miss the Thanksgiving dinner this year.
Do you really want to hear about how great Halloween was?
Or how great Christmas will be?
Despite the lack of content surrounding the holiday, it took me a good five minutes to think of a Thanksgiving song I knew. (I only know an Adam Sandler song)
This blog will write about the holiday this month.
You know it is as if we are a group of people who are going off into unknown lands hoping for a better life.
We don’t know what we may find, but we are hopeful for the future.
Maybe we will find people of a different lifestyle who, for some reason, will help us, and then they will all die out for the disease they contract from our meetings.
I’m feeling like a pilgrim already.
I’ll go get the corn.
We are going to talk about football, family, and food this month.
And then, at some point, bring up pilgrims and Native Americans.
Because let’s face it, that is all Thanksgiving is known for anyway.
The best part of Thanksgiving is that the election is over.
And that Christmas is right around the corner.
OH, BE QUIET YOU!
I AM DONE WRITING THE POST, SO THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
I WON’T MENTION YOU IN THE BLOG AT ALL.
WELL TOO BAD.
BE THAT WAY!
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